THE ORANGE STORY AND SEEKING MUTUAL BENEFIT

In his book Pitch Anything, Oren Klaff tells the story of two men fighting over a sole orange, only to end up slicing it in half, each taking 50% of his initial goal.

They quickly congratulate each other for coming to the 'best possible resolution,' and turn to part ways.

Immediately, the first man peels his half of the orange, eats the citrusy treat and deposits the rind in the garbage.

At the same instant the other man peels his half, places the rind in a plastic bag and throws out the fruit...it seems he uses the orange rinds to make marmalade.

Now, both men stand in shock at the utter waste of resource the other has shown. Suddenly the realization hits each that they could both have had 100% of what they originally wanted if they had only disclosed their true needs to each other and looked for a mutually beneficial result. In this case the hungry man would have had 100% of the fruit and the marmalade man would have had 100% of the rind he needed.

How often life presents us with situations like this. The trick is to look beyond the knee-jerk inclination that another's win inherently results in our loss...and, instead, to seek a mutually beneficial end.

This way of looking at life is often confused with passivity that sublimates our own needs. But if we can train ourselves to look at any situation in a wholistic way, we can often improve our own situation. This realization will make anyone a more powerful communicator and a more valued partner.

The bottom line is that before you go cutting the orange in half, it always makes sense to understand why the other person truly wants the half you will be giving up.

The Story of Stone Soup

While the classic folk story, Stone Soup, has been told in countless variations and across any number of cultures through the years, the essential elements are always the same:

1. A stranger enters a town whose people have become isolated from each other and who are loathe to share their resources with one another, let alone with a passing stranger.

2. Without asking for any assistance, the stranger sets up a huge pot in the middle of town, boils water and drops in one stone.

3. When asked by a curious (and suspicious) town's person, the stranger explains that he is making a 'stone soup' that will be fit for a king and that, while he needs nothing, the town's person is free to join him -- of course, since he will be sharing the wonderful soup, if he has a carrot or two to add...

4. This interaction is repeated many times over, with each new soup eater explaining to yet another potential soup eater the story of the soup fit for a king and how they are free to share in it, if only they add a little something to the pot -- celery, onions, salt, beef, etc...

5. Soon enough, all the town's people have opened up their cupboards (and their hearts), and they are all thrilled to be enjoying this royal meal that came from a simple stone.

"Imagine that! Soup from a stone!"

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